Thursday, September 30, 2004


Two things - I was at the public library the other day sitting next to a young boy and his tutor. The boy seemed of regular stock but obviously had some problems reading. His tutor had some flash cards. On the card was a picture of a pony and a 'P'. At the bottom, the card said "p-p-p-pony". The boy was to look at the picture, then read the card out loud. He said: "P... p... p... horse!" I needed quarters for laundry. So, I went to Publix (grocery store) where they have a very nice Bank of America. The woman at Bank of America asked if I needed help. (It was just after 6pm). I asked he if they were still open and she said: "Oh yes! We are open all the way up to 8:30pm!" I said: "Great. I need a few rolls of quarters." To which, she said: "Oh, no! We don't have any money here. Is there something else I can help you with?" Silly me, trying to get money at a bank.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004


I thought I’d find more quirky people at law school, but it is pretty run of the mill. Lots of white people, some African-American people, a sprinkling of Asian. Varied religions. All and all your standard fare. There is one group that I’d like to address though. They aren’t particular to law school, but since we have one on campus --- Slow-ass Subway Customers – Hey all you slow-ass subway customers. Pay attention! Look, it isn’t hard. A) You don’t need to be right in front of your sandwich at all times in order to tell them what you want on it. Are you afraid it will get lost in the 6 feet it travels to the register? Hey! Who absconded with my seafood delight?! B) The questions are ALWAYS going to be the same: Size – Bread - Cheese – Type of sandwich – Toppings – Oil & Vinegar – Salt & Pepper – Meal Deal. Why are you flummoxed when it is your turn? You will never hear: Welcome to Subway, would you like a blow, cut, and wash or just a cut? C) The Subway employees are not poodles. They can hold more than one instruction in their head at one time. Try the inverse approach: I’d like all the toppings except olives, peppers, and pickles – or even the combined directive: Yeah, lettuce, tomato, green peppers, and salt and pepper. D) You do not get stamps when redeeming your free sub card!


Well. I have returned from my evening out hob-knobbing with the other Merit Scholars. I must say, I was not impressed. I’m not talking about the people, the people are (mostly) very nice. I am talking about the setup. I thought it was lame to just slap a table in the middle of the student lounge and declare it a “reception”. However, being the cynical law student that I am, I realized I needed to think about it a bit more (this is the law student in me saying: Wait, maybe there is more than meets the eye, fool!). I then came to a new conclusion: The room is filled with a bunch of free-loaders. We are paying less for tuition than others – why the hell would they put on a razzle dazzle affair for a bunch of cheapskates? True, true. We are lucky to get what we got now that I think about it. Maybe they should put that money towards something else – another scholarship. Maybe they could do away with what we had tonight and give away a “Merit Parking Scholarship” – a free parking pass to a worthy student. I for one would have forgone the tuna sandwiches if I knew that one needy soul could park for free. Let me also say this. 1) I probably wouldn’t have come to Miami if it was not for the Merit Scholarship – I would have gone to a public state school that was more affordable. 2) I think that there are way more worthy people than I who should have this break, but you aren’t going to see me turning it down or signing it over to anyone. It has enabled me to come to South Florida, where I want to be, instead of going elsewhere, for that I am grateful. I never thought about law school when going to college the first time. I just wanted to get me a damn degree and start working. I wasn’t too concerned with my GPA. This came back to bite me in the rump when I did decide to go to law school. The only reason I got the merit award was because of a score on some lame-ass test. Here’s to people putting WAY TOO MUCH trust into the worth of a person based on a few hours of bubbling in a scantron sheet. Fucking logic puzzles! But, hey, come OCI – people will put WAY TOO MUCH trust into your first year GPA and a 20 minute interview. Here’s to you and I cranking it out for the next 9 months. 9 months more, dudes. Keep in mind that this is the time that matters most. Sandbar is fine, but 9 months is all we’ve got left. And I don’t know about you, but this shit is flying by!

Civ. Pro. Prof. On Code Yellow!

We had another meltdown today in Civ. Pro. I know that many of us make sure to be as prepared as possible, but it seems that we hit some bad times every now and again. I have it on good authority that the last time there was an explosion 'yellow' was up. Is this true, yellow? What's up? Why you curbin' my buzz? I'm not sure though. Does pink get any blame? Or is it just dumb luck. We were threatened with a pop quiz. I'd probably tank as I have not committed any cases to memory. If he asks: Tell me how Frew pertains to 1988 - I'd write all I know about 1988, but would have no idea what Frew was about. 1988 - Bush elected to office Swaggart asks God to forgive him for banging loads of hoes Prozac hits the market Robin Givens and Mike Tyson split :( McDonald's opens in USSR Human Genome project begins Now that I think about it, bring it on!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

TV and crap

I was flipping through the channels while chatting on the phone. The TV was on mute. I came across Futurama. I left it on while I talked, and then I un-muted it when I was done. I was watching it for about 4 minutes and I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. I then realized I was watching the Spanish Channel. It made a lot more sense then. I went to see Nader today. I was 20 people from the door when they done fulled up! He walked right by me, and they announced that he would be at Starbucks afterwards. If the multi-hundred seat auditorium he was in this afternoon couldn't hold him, I'm not sure how well Starbucks will do. I didn't get a ticket to the debate :( I don't think they had many. 690 people applied - pretty sad - and I was one of the losers. Boooooo! So I have 10% passive sentences (according to MS Word) in my closed memo. This is only down from 20%. I went sentence to sentence. I asked whom, I found the subjects the objects. My prof. says it isn't that we can't use them, she just doesn't want us to go overboard. Is 10% overboard? Some are quoted from the opinions I used. Crap!

Secret Outlines

I’m sitting in Elements this morning, before class started, just looking around, drooling, sniffing the air – I see this one dude come in and hand this very nicely bound copy of an outline for the course to another dude. It says: Elements Biatch on it. The one dude tells the second dude to rip the front page off. He then proceeds to tell the others who have the same outline to rip it off. I assume this is to hide it from people who don’t have an outline and would very much like one. This is a fine thing to do. Why share the wealth when we are all competing for the best grades – but be smarter, dudes. Don’t you think that if you have the outline others might as well? And if they don’t now, perhaps they will by the end of the semester. I’m not saying give it out freely, hell no, I am saying be more discreet when not sharing your little pots of gold. Some people will see this, and they will be less likely to help should the time ever come where you need it. We are forming opinions about each other every day. We mistrust before we trust. Give us a reason to trust and we will, cautiously. Give us a reason to mistrust and we will, wholeheartedly.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

I seen me an iguana!

I was chillin' outside one of my classes (read: desperately looking around for something to occupy my time as the class I was headed to was still full with the prior class and I had dreadfully miscalculated the time, so I was all alone and didn't want to look like a lame-ass loser with no friends - which is not entirely true, but close enough) and I saw an iguana on one of the palm trees. I looked around for some one to share my experience with: "Hey, look, an iguana." I would say, pointing towards the tree. "Wow!" they would say "What a great find, you really are something special, much like the iguana. Would you like to hang out with me and all my spectacular friends?" To which I would say (in order not to sound desperate): "Oh, no... very kind, but I already have a brood of friends of my own. Thanks though." To which they would say: "Brood? Doesn't that mean like kids or family?" To which I would say: "Um.. yeah.. I guess I misused the word. I meant crew, gang, posse, not family - hell, who the shit are you? The frickin' grammar patrol? Take a hike, and stop looking at my iguana. He frickin' hates you just as much as I do! Jerkass." Did I mention I was thinking of running for SBA senator? I think I've got what it takes.

Saturday, September 25, 2004


Dude, my LRW teacher like totally rocked my closed memo. I was all like: "Ya, this closed memo is a joke! I totally rocked it. She ain't ganna be able to say shit!" Then, I got it back and my LRW teacher was all like: "Not so fast, is this some sort of joke? A premature baby with one big purple crayon and a novelty giant pencil would have done better than this!" She's tough. I mean, sure it was probably a little weak here and there, but she murdered it. I know I'll be happy to have this tough love when I'm out in the real world, but talking with others, one of them there lawyers who they pull in to teach some of these classes, well, they sure sound sweet. So, the plan today was to kick out the re-write of my open memo hardcore. 6:30am - wake up. pee. go back to sleep. 9:30am - wake up again, sit on couch. take down two big bowls of cinnamon toast crunch. Watch TV. 11:30am - shuffle back to bedroom, lay down, fall back to sleep. 1:30pm - wake up. make shopping list: soap, cream cheese, soda. 2:00pm - arrive at Publix get items on list as well as ju-ju-fruits and hot dogs with cheese in the center. 3:00pm - eat lunch (hot dogs were so horrid. I had 3), watch some football 3:45pm - go back to sleep. 7:00pm - wake up. eat a bunch of ju-ju-fruits 7:30pm - become totally disgusted with myself at wasted day. surf internet

Friday, September 24, 2004

Week in Review


Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Law School Gangs

No doubt! UM Law is one tough place. I'm trying to decide which gang to run with. They all have pros and cons. I just want to be loved...
Oh shit, bitch! The torts gang is one whack-ass crew. They don't give a shit. They will mess you the hell up and sit down right next to your busted up ass and eat Subway. Respect! They will take on anyone, anywhere, anyhow! Their symbol is an upper case 'T' which they took from the contract gang a while back. They also go by "O.W.H. Skull Brigade" and "The Intentional Tort Murder Skull Crew". They will tussle at the drop of a hat. One false move and you might find one of the Skull Brigade getting 'strictly liable' all over your face. They are a reckless crew and have been seen tagging all sorts of law school property with "BPL".
The property gang has the largest turf in the law school. They are dead serious about their territory. Their symbol used to be an upper case 'T' (for trespass, one can assume) but they lost it long ago to the scrappy torts gang. It is now an upper case 'C' for chattels. No doubt that you better watch where you set up shop at the law school. The property gang (also called the Ejectment Posse, The Easement Killas, and Bailment Blood Crushers) doesn't take kindly to anyone who comes on their plots uninvited. Say the wrong thing, and they'll 'replevin' your ass so fast you won't know what hit you.
The contracts gang are considered by many to be the shrewdest gang of the bunch. Their sign is an upper case 'K'. Lack of consideration for this group will get you stuck fast. They go by many names: The K Riders, Langdell's Ghosts, and O.W.H Death Squad. They have a big time war with the Torts gang over who has a better claim to O.W. Holmes and to the better tables (with three benches and umbrellas) in the courtyard. At times, the feud has boiled up with such ferocity, that the law school courtyard was turned into a sea of busted up roller bags and highlighters splattered with blood. You can get out of this gang once in, but it will cost you big time. If you hear that the K Riders have put a breach out on some one's ass, well, if he owes you money, you can kiss that loan goodbye!

One of the most feared gangs of the group, the Civ. Pro. gang's sign is a lower case 'b' with six fingers. This sign, of course, stands for the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure 12(b)6. Also known as "The South Side Civies", this gang will cut you in two without a second thought. They are a hard gang to break into, but once you do, you are in for life. When you cross them, disrespect them, or just plain run afoul of them, they tag you as a "Rule One One" (Rule 11). Sucker, you don't want that, 'cause that means your days are numbered, fool. You betta step off when the Civies roll on up!

Rich People and Murder

I’m doing the laundry yesterday… wait, let me set the stage first. Little room with three washers and three dryers. A table to one side. Nothing fancy. I am putting my clothes into washer number 2. Some dude walks in reeking of cigarette smoke. I mean, he smelled like he had spent the last week smoking 10 packs a day enclosed in a glass jar. I could hardly stand being in that little room with him. I thought, “Fuck, I can do this tomorrow or next week when the smoke smell subsides in here. Clean underwear be dammed, my eyes are watering up so bad, I won’t be able to find my way back to my apartment.” I kept taking gulps of air and holding my breath as long as possible. He had only one pair of green army pants and a handful of powdered detergent. “Dude.” He said to me in a stoned out, low tone. “What temperature should I cook these at?” “Cough… I’m sorry?” I say in a fast, breathless spurt. I think to myself, “Did he say ‘cook these at’?” He holds up the pants. They appear to be covered in blood or some other dark reddish substance. “Hmm,” I say as I consider the situation, “well, they are colors which I think you wash in cold, but that looks like a nasty stain, so maybe hot? But then they might shrink. Maybe you could split the difference and go with warm?” “Right.” He says sort of trailing off. It takes him nearly a minute to get all 4 quarters into the machine. I take my leave. The point of this post? Well, it seems to me that some say rich people get away with murder because they can afford the best defense money can buy. Maybe it is something more simple than that. Maybe, rich people get away with murder because they throw away the clothes they butchered their victims in. Anybody see OJ in the Spin-n-wash trying to get the huge blood stain out of his jumpsuit? Favorite pair of pants or not, throw them in a garbage bag, drive to the local Quick-E-Mart, and throw them in the damn dumpster! I wonder who he killed. I haven’t seen the land-lady in a couple of days.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


My apartment has little black ants all throughout it. Not in mass quantities, but in little small bunches here and there. I am sure they are on reconnaissance missions, but I can’t be sure if they are working for the same agency or not. Maybe different arms of the same nefarious group, or perhaps entirely separate entities. I am confident that they crawl on me at night as well, because my teeth are remarkably clean in the morning. I haven’t brushed them in almost a week. I can’t imagine what they might be looking for. JD has done her best to keep the place clean, and it is. So they can’t possibly still be looking for food. Further, we have 2 birds who always drop food on the floor, and I have yet to see ant one near their cage. This is why I am sure there is something else going on. I keep getting mail for some dude, so maybe these ants are looking for him? I spoke to the landlady, “Crazy Shirley”, about them and she tells me the rain is to blame. She says to keep all sweets away including the sweet smelling Ajax soap we use to wash our dishes. I’m not sure how she knew we had sweet smelling Ajax soap, but when I got back to my apartment, sure enough, there was some Ajax soap. Smelled kind of flowery though, not sweet. Maybe the ants are working for Shirley. “Did he close the soap like I asked?” “Click pop, ant noise, click pop.” “He did? Excellent!” JD is very saddened by them. She doesn’t seem to be buying my reconnaissance assertion, but the sadness she is showing can only come from the profound loss of privacy, and not from a general distaste for living among insects. I can tell.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Dr. Phil is an Ass

Commercial: Young kid (maybe 8 or 9 years old) swinging a stick. Same kid banging his head against a backpack or something. Cut to Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil: Your son has 9 out of the 14 characteristics of a serial killer. Cut to mother nodding, resigned. Voice over about some Dr. Phil primetime special. End commercial. What a crock of horseshit. Anyone who watches Dr. Phil (JD's sister, for instance) is a damn fool. What do you think the missing 5 characteristics are? Missing ones: 10. Fat 11. Bald 12. Oprah's bitch 13. Putting Dr. before your first name instead of last name 14. Preying of off stupid, desperate, pathetic people

Saturday, September 18, 2004


By the way... Animal Legal Defense Society is having a meeting next week. Not too late to transfer to UM. Or maybe you can start one at your school. Maybe this group is the one who got the pig provision in the FL Constitution.

Friday, September 17, 2004

No Good Deed

Tonight JD and I were driving down U.S. 1 south. Just before Home Depot in Pinecrest, WHAM! We go flying forward, hit form behind, poor little Hyundai. Seat belts catch, CDs fly. No airbags deploy. I slam on my brakes (we were actually traveling down the road when hit, not stopped at a light or anything). Behind us sits a PT Cruiser. A huge dude gets out. "What the hell happened?" I say, shocked to simply have been slammed from behind. "You braked fast!" He yelled. "I don't think so!" I was moving forward at the impact, not slowing. I look at the back of my car, a scratch or two, but it looked fine. I opened the trunk, it all matched up, I looked at the bumper, all seemed fine. His car was leaking fluid. We get back into our cars and pull into Home Depot. I go under the car - all looks fine. His car is now smoking, the fluid is reddish (coolant?), he has a huge dent on the passenger side. "It doesn't matter," he says "I'm going to be at fault. Your car is fine, mine is totaled" He obviously doesn't want to get the cops involved. I say, look, very uncharacteristic of me, "I don't want to pile on anymore damage than you have." We exchange info, and go on our way. All the way home I think, "Fuck, I should have called the cops." I'm fine, my car seems okay, he's at fault, but I just hate to leave things open. What if he tries to turn the table? What if somehow he tries to put the blame on us. I don't see how he can (and prevail), but now I'll worry about this for the next 10 years. I don't know why I did so well in the accident. His car looks like crap, maybe because I was moving straight ahead, maybe it is the low end of the PT Cruiser. I should have called the cops. Shit.


So far, I have to say, the gunner thing is not so bad. They say if you don't know who the gunner is, look in the mirror. With that in mind I can tell you, I know who the gunners are. Thankfully. The best part is, so do the teachers. My K professor's syllabus says that there can be a grade shift if you participate, but, it goes on to say, you have to say something considered which adds to the discussion NOT just something to hear yourself speak. We have yet to dispense with pleasantries, so we still pretty much raise our hands to speak. She will not call on most of these wanks. They sit there, just like in junior high, holding their arm with their other arm, stretching as far as possible, some even make the "oo oo oo" noise. We sit there and mumble under our breaths to each other snide remarks about things they would be saying if they could; if only she'd call on them. "Couldn't you eat the contract, and then claim that you never met the person before?" "Okay, but what if, instead of the gun being loaded, it isn't, but you have a knife, but forgot you had a knife, and you were getting juice box from your rolley-bag, and the knife fell over the railing, and you saw it, but then you found the bullets, and the juice box had opened, and it was fruit punch, so the knife falls, and hits a chair that this guy was going to sit in, but after you loaded the gun, and then you found another juice box, grape..." "Yeah, nothing to do with the discussion, I have a question: If it says 21 days, and rule 6 says you can't count holidays and weekends if it is 11 days - or did it say you can, whatever, then if I do it on a Monday, and Christmas is on a Sunday, does it count as 2 days or 1 or 3 or what? Aren't our secretaries going to do this stuff anyway?"

Goings On

Every freaking weekend it seems like we are driving up to Ft. Lauderdale. This isn't a long drive or anything, but it takes you out of the groove. I just want to chill in Miami for a weekend. Damn! Today my Grandmother is having one breast lopped off. They asked her if she wanted reconstructive surgery. We all had a good laugh about that. She's close to 80. My grandfather asked if they could build him one to take with him places. He'd keep it in a box or something under the seat of his truck. Nothing too big he said, he'd take a small D. I thought about donating medical procedures after that. What if grandma doesn't want the new breast, but some one else does. Maybe she could say, not me, but I'll donate the procedure to the medi-pool. Guy gets a leg removed and doesn't want a new one, put it in the medi-pool. Probably not enough people willing to forgo many medical procedures though, so I shelved it.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

One Month Down

When I was getting ready for law school I wanted as much info as I could get on law school. I turned to blogs in order to get an insider view. I found some good ones, but none of them really talked about law school too much. Now, after my first month is ending, I understand why. Law school is a really boring subject to blog about. Sure, there will be little stories here and there, but all in all it is just a grind. Everyday you have reading to do. Reading also includes writing notes, briefing, outlining. It is all really boring stuff (as far as process goes). Learning the law is great, but nothing about the day in day out process is worth very much discussion. With that said, I will write some about what I’ve been doing and how I find it to be. I will do this via classes. 1 to 10, 1 being least (hard, fun, stressful) 10 being most. Torts: We read a section of the casebook a day. This casebook has pretty good hypos at each section’s close. Not just questions about why Vosberg did X or Y, but some nifty situations. Our professor has assigned all the problems in the book to random teams of people. The day your problem comes up, you get up and discuss it with the class. He leads the conversation and makes sure we get what we need out of the info. He is Irish, and his accent makes the class just all that much more enjoyable. Work: 6 Stress: 4 Difficulty: 4 Fun: 8 Elements: What the hell is this class. Think about an entire semester of long briefing cases. Boring. I like when the professor talks about the real cases he worked on. That stuff is great, the material is too dry. Work: 4 (so far, they say it kicks up later on) Stress: 2 Difficulty: 5 Fun: .0001 Contracts: The Socratic method is dead, at least at UM. The teacher for this class tells each row when they will be ‘on call’. My row was first so I am good for the next 8 weeks or so. We read several sections a class, but my professor lets the class carry on about one point of law for way too long. This is putting us behind. I think the poor UCC will pay the price. The professor is good at pointing out the things that we should be most aware of. Loads of gunners in this class. Work: 4 Stress: 2 Difficulty: 4 Fun: 5 Civil Procedure: By far the best class I have. Civ. Pro. will be one of the most important things a lawyer will learn and I lucked out with the best professor EVER. That’s right Harvard! EVER! I think he had a real lame experience with it when he took it in school, and now has made it his goal to make sure we aren’t wasting our time. He makes you work your ass off, but I know it will only serve to help me later on. He doesn’t just give general info about what something is, he makes us know statutes, rules, subsections, etc. And he loads us up with supplemental cases to read. Some are 40 pages. In class he’ll ask us specifics – like what the exact text was. Work: 8.9 Stress: 7 Difficulty: 7 Fun: 10 LRW Legal research and writing is another very important class. Our professor is the biggest stickler for everything. She is tough and won’t let us get away with cutting any corners. I am glad to have her, and know this too will only server to help me over the years. But, man, does it blow! Work: 9 Stress: 9 Difficulty: 8 Fun: 2

LRW Prof. Thinks I'm an Idiot

I sent this story to a friend and I thought I'd share it here. So, I emailed my Legal Research and Writing teacher with a question. In it I wrote this: "I can not be sure from the facts I have, however if Janet read about the refrigerator in the fine print then blah, blah, blah..." She replied to my message with the info I was seeking and, at the end of her email, she wrote: "Also, "cannot" is one word." This is true. Cannot is one word when it means that you have no option, whereas "can not" means you have an option. Example: I can got to the screening of 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag or I can not go. (Not sure why anyone would ever go to that, but this isn't the point) So, I then replied to her email, what I thought was a hilarious joke: "Thanks. And I am sorry about "cannot" I make that mistake "alot". " Get the hilarious joke? I know "a lot" is two words. Ha ha ha ha! I put "alot" in quotes just as above. She emails back: "No problem. Also, a lot is two words." Ahhhh! I was making a joke, and now she thinks I'm a total freaking moron. Yeah, I know it is two words, that was the joke. Hence the quotes! Whatever, just keep the check pluses coming in and we'll have no problems.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Helping Other Folks

It occurs to me that my last post may have seemed callus. It isn’t that I don’t think people should help others, I have the same lofty notions about doing something better with my life as well. It is just that there are some people who will get on a soap box about every little wrong they see in the world. “We can help! I wanna help!” And, usually, nothing is ever done. QUESTION: What’s the difference between people who are always saying how much they want to fight for people’s rights, and people who simply do nothing? ANSWER: The people who simply do nothing are more genuine. If you aren’t doing it, you aren’t doing it. No mater how much you talk, it is just talk. As I’ve said before, if all the people coming to law school wanting to change the world actually followed that goal, there would be no one around to draft a will, close on your house, or help Big Bad Corporation X hide all the toxic waste they are dumping into the river. However, it seems to me, the big law firms have their pick of eager grads to help further their devious deeds. Sure, some people will follow these goals, but I have a way better hit than miss ratio on saying “bullshit!” Most will go on to make a decent stash of cash and then build their figurative 20 foot wall around their families. “We need to reform the welfare system” turns into secret code for “Let’s keep this welfare system going strong so that they don’t come and steal my plasma TV.” (just so you don’t get on a welfare rampage, I’m not against welfare, some people need help, it is just an example) You want to help people? Go do it! Stop posting about how you freaking wish you could while you sit at home and watch Charmed on The New WB.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Your Bleeding Heart is Draining Your Brain

This dude's post about some poor harassed Wal-mart patron, really made me think... about how many damn bleeding hearts there are in law school (thankfully money changes them real quick when they get out). I knew this coming in, of course, so I'm not saying I'm shocked or anything. But give me a break on this Wal-mart vagrant. Sure, sure, it is hard to tell between those who shop at Wal-mart and those who live a desolate life of misery, as they seem to be one in the same. However, I think that this gentleman would have no problem proving his purchase of said goods if he either produced a receipt, or simply went back inside with an officer and had the cashier identify him. Of course, having stolen the items, this was not possible. How do you people do well on your finals with all that blood drained from your heads into your hearts?

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Rock UM!

Well, well, well. It looks like the 'Noles are screwed now. In order for them to win the ACC, which they have done 11 out of the last 12 seasons, they will need to hope Miami looses twice, and they go on undefeated. I will admit I was a little worried last night, but the 'Canes kept on trucking. Luck, skill, heart, whatever you want to say I'll take it. Now we just have to keep it going. VA Tech is waiting at the end of the season. Championship is in the Orange Bowl (actually Joe Robbie or Pro-Player or DHL or something). Sweeeeet! Being a student, I had a ticket to last nights game, but I couldn't get an extra one for JD, so we went to my sister's instead. It was me, my sister, JD, Mommy, my niece, and my mom's lame-ass husband. This guy is the king of Wanksville. This guy ruins every gathering because no one likes him. Not even his wife (dear old mom, but she's too much of a wimp to give him the boot). My niece is afraid of him. Even at two she knows he is off kilter. He has a very limited grasp on sports, but he pretends to know more than he does. He is unpleasant, mean, ugly, and a damn fool. My mom acts lame too when he's around. Without him, all is well. With him, all is lame. Night and day. Today I watched my Dolphins in their normal form. Actually, they looked in late season form. It is going to be a long season. For sure. Off to work on my outlines. Gotta keep on top of all this crud or it will get out of hand. I also have a LRW paper due this week. Rolling, rolling, rolling.

Thursday, September 09, 2004


how I long for these days...

Hurricane, schmurricane

I wonder which newspaper will be the first to have a picture of the ruins of Ivan with the bold headline: Ivan the Terrible. 3 storms in a one month span. Pretty cool stuff. Here's to another few days off from school. I promise I will use the time to commit all non open book final exam class notes to heart. Really, I swear. Really. And play a little NCAA 2005 which has gone neglected in these first few weeks. Just one game. Maybe two. Hey, JMoore, you still read this crap?

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Civ Pro Teacher Went Bonkers on Us

Hello all. Today in Civ. Pro. our prof went a little nuts on us. I am of the opinion he was wanting to do this for a while. He was all upset (or so he'd have us believe) that people didn't know enough info. We are on week 3 of law school. I mean, come on. Really. Sure we can't repeat Rule 65 or 28 U.S.C. SS 2412 by heart yet, but we'll get there. And so what if some dude in the third row couldn't tell you the one line you were looking for somewhere in the 90 pages of reading you have us do each night. Cut a guy some slack. People were all upset when he declared class over and said we had better come prepared or we wouldn't be allowed to come at all. Really? So people are slapping down tens of thousands of dollars and the class is just going to evaporate from us. Not likely. It is an act. An act designed to make us think quickly on our feet as if we were in front of some mean ole nasty judge. I love it! I hung in there for a while when I was on the hot spot, but when he came back to me looking for a simple answer of "Motion to Dismiss" I went with "Because they filed concurrently in both federal and state..." I was getting to the dismissed part, but he screamed "No!" and moved on. The best part was when this one guy (now let me qualify that I do not in any way think this guy is dumb. Something just happens to you when the prof is foaming at the mouth and you are his victim. You freeze up a bit - the brain goes into survival mode, not Civ. Pro. mode). Anyway, this one guy was asked a simple question "Mr. SoAndSo, who makes the statutes???" The guy was frozen ", the judges?" "What??? The judges?!" ", I mean lawyers who bring law..." "Mr. SoAndSo, did you see the movie Elf?" ", yes..." "And who makes the toys???" " elves..." "Yes! And who makes the statutes???" " elves?" It was funny. On a sadder note, I still have my cough. I am guessing it is TB.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Venture Capital for Law Suits?

We are reading about financing litigation in Civ. Pro. I came across one section that I found to be pretty spiffy. Undoubtedly, many will find this to be another example of the out of control, sue happy society we live in. Apparently there are some ‘firms’ who invest in law suits. Banks have loaned lawyers money for keeping suits going for years, but they do so under the guise of funding a business, these firms, rather, invest in law suits. They will seek out juicy cases and fund the lawyers who litigate them. Of course, when the Good Ship Lollypop comes in, these VC for law suits reap the rewards. Pretty cool! The only downside seems to be that the client (the one with the legal claim) is still master of the suit. So when VC guy wants the client to take the settlement (maximize time and money trade off), the client can say: “No, this case is about the principle, not the money!” Oh boy, then these guys are screwed (unless a crazy-ass jury comes back with a boat load). I love it.

You could be firm partner with out a lick of law school, just a roll of cash. Nice.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

That Wasn't Much

Well, the storm came and went without a hitch. It was pretty placid out there. What's that you say? It hasn't come yet? Wha wha what?! But it is Saturday already. It was supposed to be here on Friday morning... Sunday? Now it isn't coming until Sunday? Will Taco Bell be opened today? What about the 2 day rental from Blockbuster? I was hoping to get a third day out of it with Blockbuster closed. Now I'd better return it. Crap.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Irony or Meanness?

So the news is on 24/7. It breaks away for a commercial every 10 minutes or so. They are only playing one commercial. It is the UM football coach Larry Coker as a spokesman for "Hurst Storm Shutters". He shows several models of shutters you could buy including their patented clear storm shutters. He says, "take it from me, I know a few things about hurricanes". This commercial is playing every single break. CBS, check it out. Good stuff. Do you think they have same day service? Also, they keep showing hurricane Andrew imposed over Frances. "Look how much bigger Frances is!" Okay... and? How does it compare to Pearl?

Frances Cometh

Class canceled for the next two days! This means no law school for the next 5 days (weekend plus labor day). Wow. I think I might head over to campus and collect all my books. Is that super lame? Not for fear that the hurricane will come and blow them away, it is just that I can really get some good reading done by candlelight. Who am I kidding. I'd be better served by renting some movies and a few video games. The news is on 24/7 now. They have people on some of the islands Frank is slamming through right now, people at Home Depot (it is open 24 hours right now), people in various communities showing other people getting ready. I am just sitting here. Storm be damned, I have been through this many a times, and I don't plan on changing my plan. The dude I met from Canada and his New Mexico friend are concerned. I told them to buy some water if they felt like it, then just lay back. I hope this was good advice. :) The worst part of these storms is that the power goes out for a long time. It might be 2am in the morning, but when that power goes out, the frickin' heat goes up. You can't sleep because it is 1,000 degrees in South Florida at night in the shade underneath a fan. I hope Wendy's stays open throughout the storm. I bet the Wendy's employees are more committed to my service than their families. Well, at least they were when Dave was still alive. Things are slipping since his heavy handed justice isn't being dealt out these days. Tolls are lifted on the Turnpike and Sawgrass Expressway. Maybe I'll take a sweet road trip around the area on the state's dime. Awesome.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

The Purpose of Lawyers?

So, my Civ.Pro. prof. told us that we, as new lawyers, would be extending laws over the next decade and beyond. He was speaking to the case where one currently can not sue for fear of future ailments when no current injury has occurred. This isn’t the same as emotional distress. Ayers v. Some one or Something – It is an asbestosis case where the workers are now afraid of getting cancer because they have asbestosis. Anyway… he said that right now you can’t get damages when you only have fear and nothing else. He said it would be up to us to push the bounds of the law and extend it to the case where no injury was found, but the fear was real. I know law evolves and all, but is this the purpose of a lawyer? To just keep pushing and pushing and pushing until we can sue for whatever ails us? Be it fear or a gaping wound on the side of our heads. It isn’t like people can’t sue when they are finally filled with cancer. Toughen up people. Life is hard. It’s going to get a lot harder too with lawyers out there trying to envelope all realms of your life. Seems good on paper, but isn’t going to be so good in practice. Watch out non-lawyers. We’re coming for your money! I mean, um, to rectify wrongs and better the world. It has nothing at all to do with your money. I wonder what color Porsche I’m going to buy with all of my making the world a more fair place for you to live settlements?

Now is the winter of my discontent

Well, well, well. So here is where I stand: Cough is down to a minimum, but still not gone. I am taking my final day’s supply of amoxicillin. Last night I was covered in hives or something. JD is very angry with me that I am sick. I told her I would do my best to not be sick, but it seemed to be an empty promises as I have no clue how not to be sick. I noticed that there are no coconuts on the copious number of palm trees around the campus. I theorized that UM cut them all down for fear that a student or two might die every year from falling tropical nuts(?) were they left on. Yesterday I had my proof. It is a two man operation. One guy has a huge-ass tool that he telescopes to the coconuts in order to saw them down. Another man stands below with a trash can in which he collects the fallen seeds(?). At least I think they are part of the university’s staff. Maybe not. Maybe they are coconut thieves. Maybe my idea about the university wanting to keep students safe from threats above is stupid. Maybe these guys are part of a notorious gang of coconut thieves and I saw them! How exciting! I haven’t heard about a gang of coconut thieves the university is desperately tracking, but maybe that is because they don’t want to alarm any students. Yes, I bet that’s it. Well, I’m on the case now. Be warned coconut bandits! The facilities people are putting up storm shutters around campus. I guess it is better safe than sorry. I like being in the path of a storm and not owning a house anymore. No worry mates! The tickets for the first presidential debate are really limited. There is an essay contest to get one. I’m going to do it, but the theme is ultra lame: Democracy in Action: Make your Vote Count. Say what? Um, yeah, sure… My guess is they didn’t want to do just a lottery system, because then any jerk would put his name is. They want you to jump through a mini-hoop at least. Maybe Bush won’t even show up. He has yet to say where and when he’ll debate. I better not write 250 words about sitting around in my skivvies until I get off my rump to ‘Make My Vote Count’ for nothing! You hear that James Baker? I am also disgusted by how slim the book bags of these undergrads are. Sure, when I was an undergrad I really had no use for books either. It is just disgusting to me now as I lug 739lbs. around with me each and every day. There is a lot of knowledge in these here books!