Sunday, October 31, 2004

Ho, hum

Ramping up Class ends on the 24th. We have our first final on the 3rd, however we don’t consider finals as part of this semester. We all seem to be counting down to the last day of regular classes. 3 and ½ weeks left. 18 days of actual classes (unless you are those lucky asses who don’t have Friday class). 24 days until the last day. I have started the ramp up. I am getting all my crap together. I have an open memo still though, so it is putting a cramp in my plans. What should you share? We are all gunning for good grades. Things might get a little tense over the next few weeks. My feeling on it is this: If you came by something that you didn’t do, you don’t have to volunteer it, but you should give it to some one who knows about it and asks. However, if YOU made it - You synthesized the data, you compiled the info, then it is all yours. You should not be obligated to share UNLESS you have a buddy that you have counted on during the semester. I think that you should never ever try to one up your friends. There is no room for that. On the ATL front. I spoke to an old friend, he isn’t doing so good since JD and I left town. He confided in us that he is hanging out with a crew whose ringleader wears suspenders with sweatpants. Sad.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Classes and such

Some folks are sad that I have not written more about my classes – Civ. Pro. in particular. Well, the reason for this is, most of them are pretty dull. Law school itself is pretty dull. It is a lot of reading, a bit of learning, and a bunch of outlining. I like the material, I am not disillusioned with becoming a lawyer, I am still on track, but that’s about it. Civ. Pro. – Same as ever. People spend more time on this class than most. That’s great. Good luck – I’m sure your grade will be directly proportional to the amount of highlighting (and varied colors) you do. Elements – Almost everyone reads directly off of the same damn outline. The professor is amazed at how accurate these people are. He knows what’s up – he wants to see who is honest with him, and practically no one is. Today some kid, when asked if he briefed the case, was honest and said, “Not really.” The prof. said, “Well, read it and brief it.” That was it. He didn’t yell or scream. He was probably glad that some one was telling the truth. Can’t these people fake it better instead of reading word for word? I bet the people really reading the cases are getting a lot out of the class and not the ones lamenting about how horrid it is. Lame. Torts – Some days it is a free for all. I like the professor. But he’ll be gone soon, and all I’ll have left is my broken heart to mend. K – Some one told our professor that she was too harsh! Give me a break. She is very nice. The first few weeks you couldn’t get a word in with all the people raising their hands, but since then, boy has it tapered off. No one says nothing. There are a few who do, but it is like pulling teeth. Harsh? Naw. LRW – Found out we come back a week earlier than the upper years for Moot Court Boot Camp. Boo! I checked LSAC – Miami has a 2.3% drop out rate in year one and an 11% rate in year two, but most of the 2L’s are probably students who transfer elsewhere (out of the 42 or so, 32 were not academic dropouts).

Awesome K Hypo

Run, don't walk, to the Uncivil Litigator's awesome K hypo!

Bring on the stress monsters

So cute, the little stress monsters. I heard all about them when I started school, but really didn't see any until this week. So precious - all frazzled and jittery. I want to take one home with me, but they smoke too much. I hear this is just the early batch, but in the next few weeks I should be able to see a bunch more. They seem kind of paranoid too, so maybe that is another reason not to keep one as a pet. How to have fun with your stress monster: 1) Talk loudly about that killer outline you got via email from the visiting professor's brightest student at whatever university they came from. 2) Remark about how easy the reading seems to be getting and that you have already started prepping for next semester. 3) Remark how you spent all week playing NBA Live 2005 because you finished the semester's remaining reading on Sunday. 4) Talk loudly about how you have already been approached to join (Law Review, Dean's Fellows, Some Professor's Research Team). 5) Talk about last night's dinner over at [Insert Hardest Professor's Name Here]

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Shout out to the less informed

Is there anything more demeaning than telling people you know better than them, when you probably haven’t a clue? In law school, I am surrounded by people who think they know the best way for you to live your life. And don’t fool yourself, it isn’t just the right-wing-gun-waving-bible-thumping- anti-stem-cell-reasearching-anit-choice- pro-private-school-ten-commandment-displaying- support-the-war-or-you-are-unpatriotic-conservatives. It is also, very much, the fine left-wingers of the group. I had lunch today with a couple of guys who were not at all in favor of the proposed amendment #4 – which touts an increase in gambling across the state (I’m sure there is more to it than that, but this was the base of our discussion). Why? Boo-who, “because it is a regressive tax.” Meaning what? Well, they kept saying that the poor were “less informed” than I, and they didn’t have the means to understand the damage they might do to themselves if confronted with the choice between eating or pulling the ole one-arm-bandit one more time. “Less informed”, of course, is code for “stupid”. These people think that if we were to introduce slot machines to Publix, all the poor people would foolishly flock to the machines right after checking their paychecks at the “predatory lending” check cashing store. These fine young liberal gents saw it as their duty to fight to protect the stupid (I mean less informed) poor from themselves. The poor are too **cough** less informed to know how to budget their funds, so it is up to some elitist white dudes to save the poor little paupers from harming themselves. I asked if they would support legislation to limit the cable packages these poor folks subscribe to. Or, perhaps we could deny them cell phone plans, or brand name clothing, or Skippy Peanut Butter rather than Brand X. Perhaps we should stand in front of the movie theater and make sure that the poor are not foolishly (whoops, again I slipped, I mean to say less informed-ly) wasting their money on the latest Pixar film. Surely, the poor would be glad to have some one looking out for them. “Oh, little misinformed poor person, do you really need 5 HBO channels? Does you baby need the latest Nike’s? Do you really need to see the newest J Lo film – at night – full price? You are running dangerously low on Any-time Minutes. Be careful.” You know, they’d be glad some one was helping them – some one “more informed” than them - until they are finally safe from themselves – whenever that day comes.


LRW open memo re-write done. Law school is freakin' awesome! Being unemployed rules! Having no money and the potential to live a happy-go-lucky life hanging by the thread of a few final exams rules! Yeah, buddy! A couple of short notes. Last night I was up (trouble sleeping) and I heard some terrible cries coming from the bedroom. JD was having a nightmare (or so she claims). She was balling in her sleep. She claims that I had died in her dream and that she felt for me in the bed, but I wasn't there, thus heightening her dream's reality. Sounds fishy to me. I am always being bumped off in her dreams. I don't think that is a good sign. I hope my next woman is a more sound sleeper than her (amongst like 1,000,000 other things I'm making sure I get on my upgrade). Also, another JD story. We are eating the other day, and I catch a glimpse of JD. She has stuck herself in the face with her fork. (no blood or anything, just a poke) SHE MISSED HER MOUTH WITH HER FORK! Who the hell does that? It was very funny. I called her on it and she didn't even put up a fight. Good stuff.

Monday, October 25, 2004

This Guy

I haven't told you yet, but there is this guy in my Civ. Pro. class who hates my guts. I'm not sure why. Maybe its because I told him that a guy I know went to the Marines and came out 4 years later totally unchanged. This guy didn't find my story interesting and hasn't spoken to me since. Oh well. However, I think today I almost enraged him to the point of striking me. I was in the locker room at the gym walking towards the shower. I passed this dude with nothing but my tight little panties on. The sight of me plodding around in the buff seemed to sicken him. He narrowed his eyes as I walked by and refused to give me the "what's up? nod" back. I can imagine me without a shirt would be a shocking sight for most, but the disgust in his eyes was overwhelming. Maybe he needs a hug. I'll try that next.

He he he

In the law school courtyard (those in the know call it “the bricks”), hanging high above the throng of students, waived this banner: RAFFLE FOR BREAST CANCER $1. Sure, I’ll give a buck, but I sure as hell ain’t ganna pick up my prize if I win. Also saw this on the table in the food court (those in the know call it “the food court”): Up ‘til Dawn. Letter Writing Halloween Party. Wednesday 5pm – 7pm. Hmm… up until dawn you say? 5pm to 7pm? I don’t follow. Law school is going. Let’s try some hypos on you: Bob contracts with Joe for some sort of insurance. Among other things, the contract Joe gives to Bob says: Under no circumstances whatsoever never ever ever never ever will I pay you if you car breaks down or stalls out because you didn’t fill up the tank with gas. Well, Bob doesn’t fill up the tank, and he stalls out on the road. Will Bob recover against the policy? You betcha! Why? (Speaking in a monotone rhythmic voice) Because justice so requires. You set my house on fire killing my fish and potted plants. You then sue me for being angry. Will you recover? Yep! (Speaking in a monotone rhythmic voice) Because justice so requires. (Speaking in a monotone rhythmic voice) Because justice so requires. (Speaking in a monotone rhythmic voice) Because justice so requires. (Speaking in a monotone rhythmic voice) Because justice so requires.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

LRW Open Memo

Some one found their way to lawfool by looking for “LRW Open Memo”. I occurred to me that those about to enter school might not know what open vs. closed memo means. Well, you start with a closed memo. This is where the teacher gives you some case law (4 or 5 cases) and that is all you can use to write your memo. For the closed memo, the few cases you have comprise the entire world of case law for that one assignment. You then move on to an open memo. This is where you are given a fact pattern and a question. You need to go to the library (at UM we don’t get Lexis/Westlaw access until semester #2) and research the topic. You are open to use any cases you find. What are you writing? Well, you are writing a memo. Why a memo? Good question. Why don’t we write pleadings? Why not briefs? Motions? It is a practical matter. Most of us are going to end up in a firm, and a partner will ask you to do research, and you need to know how to do it and not sound like a dimwit. It is a vehicle by which you can learn research as well as legal-ish writing. And it has more practical value for most new grads than does writing pleadings. In our second semester we do work on an appellate brief. One prof. said we should have LRW all three years. I am inclined to agree. Lazy Lawfool is happy we don’t though. For those of us who will not end up at a BIGLAW firm (God willing, me), LRW will still be very handy, because no matter where you go – good, concise, well organized writing will be an important tool. Lawyers seem to create a lot of crap.

The Grind

Martha’s eyes opened. While sleeping, her saliva had formed into glue between her lips. She broke its seal with the tip of her tongue. Her breath was rancid. She dug at the corner of her eyes with her index fingers to break the hardened discharge from her tear ducts. Martha shuffled across the cold, sandy tile floor as she made her way towards the window. She opened the dust covered Venetian blinds with one hand while rubbing one of her eyes with the other. It was dark outside. It was wet. A light drizzle licked the window. Another dreary day. The grind of law school was upon her. Thanksgiving seemed miles away.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Proximate cause?

I have not updated for a few days. I will try to tell you the reason, but I’m not sure where the causation chain ends or begins. Maybe you can help. My hard drive in my 5 month old laptop was on the fritz (HP to blame?) Well… I called HP and they sent a new one to me Well… Fed-Ex could not get into my apartment complex – they didn’t leave me a note or call me Well… After waiting a few days I checked with HP and they said Fed-Ex had attempted delivery, but were unsuccessful Well… I drove down to Fed-Ex to get the HD Well… When I got home, I couldn’t find the screwdriver I needed to open up the laptop Well… JD misplaced the screwdriver Well… I finally found it, but it was too big Well… I went to Target and bought one that worked! So, why haven’t I posted? Well, HP’s faulty hard drive that was actually a Fujitsu went all crap-ass on me. I called for a new one, but Fed-ex was lacking in its delivery. When I finally got it, I couldn’t find the screwdriver because JD misplaced it. Does Fujitsu, HP, Fed-Ex, or JD get the blame?

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Out With the Boys

This afternoon I went out with some duets from my section. It is the first social law school thing I've done with people from law school. It was fun. We just sat around and shot the shit for a couple hours. We talked about which of our lady student friends were the hottest, which was the skankiest, which seemed the nicest, which seemed the bitchiest. We discussed which ones from the entire 1Ls was the top notch, the bottom rung, etc... We talked about the guys too (not nearly as much) - mostly about which ones were dimwits. I was pleasantly surprised at some of the selections. Many of the tops were not who you'd think. A very open minded couple of guys. Let's just say - blonde hair, blues eyes is swell, but interesting looking seemed to be winning out over US Magazine types. Nice. I hardly know anyone's name and the other guys were so-so on names. This created some confusion which made it even more fun. "You know, that one darker skinned chick." "Oh yeah, she is pretty nice." "Yeah... she wears glasses right?" "No!" "Are you sure?" "yeah!" "Then I'm thinking of another one." "Really? Who?" It went on like this for quite some time.
Singing: I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine Picked up a bluebook and I walked to the mine I Shepardized Sixteen Tons o' citations 12 hours back to back And the LRW-boss said, "Well, bless your IRAC" (Chorus:) You Shepardize Sixteen Tons, whadaya get? Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go I'll be here 'till the library's close What is with our head librarian? She cackles and chortles at 180 decibels. It is unnerving I tell you. Who ever though that a student would say: SHHHHHH! To the librarian. I also have caught her disdainful look when I was perusing The Drudge Report on library computers. Sorry, I tried to get to, really I did! Maybe that is why she held out on me when I was trying to find something in the Pacific reporter for California. California hasn't reported in the Pacific reporter since like 1969.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Beastie Boys!

Just got back from the Beastie Boys show with JD. I was able to kick out torts for the week and tomorrow's Elements, but again my Monday read fest was cut short due to the show. A lot of shit is starting to happen on campus as far as speakers are concerned. I went to the public service job talk last week and this week there is a couple of things I want to go to (FBI and Attorney General stuff). I couldn't see Janet Reno today because of the B-Boys. Alas. The show was sweet. It started with a dog show. Pretty funny. The announcer came on and said: "Hey South Florida, do you LOVE dogs?!" And then all these dogs and an old dude came out and did an act for about 20 minutes (flips, jump rope, balance beam, etc). The Beastie Boys probably were sitting around and said: "Dudes, wouldn't it be whack if we started the show with a dog act. Word. Dope." That's right, I think the Beastie Boys sit around saying "Dope" and "Whack". We were FRONT ROW, bitches! That's right. We got there at 7pm. No one was there so we chilled right at the security barrier. We saw the dogs up close, Talib Kwali, and 3 MCs and 1 DJ. It was swell. Aside from Fugazi, I think the Beastie Boys has been the most constant music source in my growin' up years. It was great to be an arm's distance away tonight. I could have touched them if I was so inclined. Totally rad. They played some oldies, they played some new stuff, and best of all, they played their instruments. It wasn't just them bouncing around (although that part was fun). Good time. Right. Off to la-la-land now. I have to get my rest for Elements tomorrow. We have a huge-ass make up marathon this weekend. 4 hours on Saturday - in all fairness we do get an hour for lunch.

Monday, October 18, 2004

The Library Anita a starfish

Hey, go to the courtyard or sit in your car or chill in Subway or drink your lathe or Dunk-a-china where you acquired it, but the library is not a Starbucks. Just because the seats are cushiony, it doesn't mean it is time to chat it up. Take it outside, Skippy. I have some serious highlighting to do. I must be able to hear the little squeak as my highlighted slides across the California Supreme Court elements of negligent infliction of emotional distress. If I don't have complete silence I might inadvertently highlight the beginning of the next sentence. Then, when I NEVER, re-read the section, I won't know why I felt the need to include ". In the following" as part of the previously highlighted section. Jeeze!


That's how much dinner cost Saturday night. This is the most I have ever spent on any one mean, ever. Wow. I have been out to meals that may have cost some one else this much, but I have never been the one fitting the bill. Let's hope it doesn't happen again any time soon. I wonder which books I will have to forgo next semester to make up for this.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Today Will Be a Good Day

Wow! The weather is sooooo damn nice! It is 71 Fahrenheit (21.6 Celsius for my international readers). It is going to be like this, according to the fine folks at, for the next ten days at least. Sooooo nice! I didn't even mind coming to campus to do my second bluebook exercise this morning. It got me out and about. I will spend then next 3 or so hours reading my torts (making up the stuff I slacked and reading for the next week) - outdoors, of course. Then it will be a quick stint at the gym. I will follow that up with a trip down to Ft. Lauderdale's Los Olas Blvd. for a way too expensive dinner at Chima's. This is a Brazilian all-you-can-shove-into-your-face steak house. It is 40 some odd bucks a person and JD and I are picking up the tab for 6 of us, gulp! We are doing so as a thank you to my sister and mother for helping out with our transition from Georgia down to here. My family’s normal night out involves buy-one-get one Whoppers at Burger King followed by a stroll around Target. I kid you not. For my high school graduation, we went to get hamburgers at Fudruckers (grand total $117.00 for 14 of us). When I graduated undergrad, it was off to get subs at Firehouse Subs (grand total $24.00 for 4 of us). I think my first acceptance letter to law school was rewarded with a trip to Taco Bell. Oh, yeah, we know how to do it up. I'm reminded of a quick story... I was maybe 14 or so. A new Publix (grocery store) was opening up several miles from my house. My mother informed me earlier in the day that we ( her, her ass-hole husband, myself, my grandparents, and my sister) would all be going there for dinner. They were celebrating their grand opening by inviting various vendors to come and set up some free sample displays. The public was invited to come to the new grocery store and sample the products. You know, ice cream, pasta, dips, chips, juices, etc... My mother had caught wind of this, and she saw an opportunity to have a free dinner on Publix. I assumed this was a joke. Sure, we'd go there, but not for dinner. We'd eat at home, then have a little after dinner snack. Oh no. She intended to see this through --- I would have no part of it:: Mom: We are leaving in about ten minutes, Grandpa will be picking us up. Me: Are you serious? I thought you were joking. Mom: Why would I be joking? It's going to be good. We make a few laps around the store and we're full. Me: I'm not going. Mom: What? Me: I said, I'm not going. I think you are abusing the system. Mom: Why? They said to come and eat. They want us there. They are trying to get people to show up. Me: Yes, but surely they didn't intend for people to plan their dinner around this. Mom: I don't see why not? They want us to come, right? Me: If you can't see anything wrong with this, well I think our conversation will be wasted. Mom: (Becoming irate at my condescending tone) Look, either you come or you don't eat. Me: I'll eat something at home. Mom: No you won't, not any of my food! Me: Look, I'm your dependant, you can't not feed me, it's against the law. You had sex with some dude 15 years ago, and now you have to feed me. Mom: I am feeding you! I am feeding you Publix samples. You are refusing to eat. Me: (being more condescending) Fine, then I just won't go and when you leave I'll sneak some of "your" food. Mom: (incensed) You little shit! You are too good to eat with us! I hope you choke on the food you sneak! (Grandpa's car horn honks) Mom: (to the rest of my family) Come on! Let's go! This little shit is staying here. He's too good to eat with us. He is better than walking around at Publix with his abusing-the-system family. Too good to eat samples for dinner! You gatta love Mom!

Friday, October 15, 2004


Where are you OutLaw and Miami Law Women? We got this email telling us that U.S. Army JAG Corps is coming to interview on campus. Before you could read about the JAG, however, there was a disclaimer by the dean of the law school expressing how the law school doesn’t extend offers to interview on campus to companies with discriminatory hiring practices. But, well, the government would cut some funding if the school didn’t, so – whatchagannado? I have heard nothing from either OutLaw or the Miami Law Women. Now, let me say, I understand the dean’s position. He wants to keep out companies with hiring practices that the law school (somehow) agreed went against its policies, but he also wants to keep the money coming in – for both the students who need it and the law school who maybe needs it as well. Okay, fine. (Heck, I’m probably getting some of that green – keep it coming.) And, I’m not arguing whether the Army discriminates or not – it is obvious that the dean thinks they do, and under his assumptions and power, he can keep out the companies which he feels are discriminatory. He must feel they are discriminatory, or why the email. So, I ask, where is OutLaw and Miami Law Women? Even though they can see the dean’s predicament, and maybe even feel for the guy, isn’t it these groups duty to stand up against this kind of stuff. Look, would the Hispanic Law Student Association sit by if some firm that had a strict policy of not hiring Hispanics came to the university and said: “We don’t hirer Hispanics, but we will give the University a whole lot of money to let us interview here regardless?” or another group says: “We don’t hirer the handicapped. No way, no how. However, we want to come to the school to interview those not in need of wheelchairs. Here is some $$$$$$$.” How is the US JAG Corps different? Again, I don’t know how I feel. On the one hand, why not let people have access to jobs which they want. Surely some one here wants to work for JAG, and why should the university limit access to employers based on its morals. The university does not speak for every student, and students should not be harmed by the university’s sense of morality. However, if the university does have this policy, how can certain groups sit by and watch the school turn its back for $$$$. I don’t think it would fly with the Black, Hispanic, and Disabled contingents – why do certain groups just sit by? Does a simple disclaimer from the dean hold that much sway?

Thursday, October 14, 2004


My grandmother sent me a package yesterday. Amongst the various items was a book – “The Complete Law School Companion : How to Excel at America's Most Demanding Post-Graduate Curriculum.” Apparently she caught word that I had not read for my torts class and that I had already fallen off of the “read everything for the week on Monday” horse. Of course, Lawfool finds all these books to be silly. They are just ways to prey upon the frightened and weak-minded. In fact, if you search Amazon, you will see tons of books like this for undergrads. As if! My undergrad was so easy that I didn’t need a book called “Transitioning to College Writing” or “How to Survive the First Year of College”, rather I needed books like “What to do With all Your Damn Free Time”, “FSU Girls, Know When to Say When”, and “Dude, I Don’t Know About This. This Seems WAY too Easy, do You Think There is Anyway You’ll Actually Get a Job After This?” So, out of love for Granny, I flipped through the book. I’m not sure about this book. It starts off all good, but then around page 92 it starts to melt down.
Page 98: . . . sometimes you just don’t have the time to read all the stuff for class. The Law School Companion recommends this handy tip: 1) Find out where all the really smart law students live. 2) Make a map of their homes (this includes kids not just in your section either. Find all the smart kids – the info is pretty much the same no matter what section you are in and you’ll need as many addresses as possible). 3) If you miss some reading, get up early and drive to one of these smarty-pants’ homes. 4) Don’t forget to bring a blunt object. 5) Break in to the house and crack the kid across the head. 6) Slurp out their brains with a long straw. 7) There, don’t you feel better! And remember: Planning, planning, planning! A hasty crime is a crime waiting to be solved. Damn CSI bastards! It goes on –
Page 123: Before exams come around, be sure to prepare well. This means getting two blue books for each class. Write out an answer to an exam that you’ve made up in your head. Take your time, this is for all the marbles! The day of the exam, simply turn in your pre-written exam. One of two things will happen. 1) You’ll be given the ‘A’ you deserve, because the teacher is simply keying off of ‘signal words’ like ‘promissory estoppel’ or “contributory but not comparative negligence” and doesn’t give a rats-ass about the hypo they gave you. OR 2) They will care about the hypo. At which point they will call into their office and accuse you of cheating. You will deny it, of course, by saying: “What kind of an idiot would write an answer to an exam they made up?!” At which point you will crack them over the head and slurp out their brains. Remember The Law School Companion’s Rule #1 – Never Be Without Your Blunt Object!

To Anonymous - as easy as can be?

Please see my reply to Anonymous' comment in my last post. I would argue that any hypo worth its weight in paper is never "as easy as can be". Remember, we are not arguing for our client in these memos, we are to try and see both sides and offer advice as to how our client might prevail as well as lose. There is a strong argument in defense of the Widow Bouchard's position. Tsk, tsk, tsk to say as easy as can be - as if to make poor Lawfool look like some blathering simpleton. That is my job, not yours!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Unhappy LRW Crap!

So we were given this hypo. Part of it talked about how a suicide had occurred in the house that some woman was selling, and how she didn't say anything to anyone. And then this poor (wha, wha, wha) couple buy the house, and they are all sad and stuff when they find out that their dream house has bits of some old war hero all over the kitchen... So we are told to write about fraudulent concealment. Early on, some people start to figure out that there is a Florida statute stating that a seller is under no duty to reveal a suicide in the home. The LRW teacher sends out an email telling us NOT to read the statutes and to forget they exist for this assignment. The reason - if we didn't forget about the statutes a huge part of the hypo would be blown out of the water. So I write. I attack the widow. I say that this kind of issue isn't one that is normal, and that most people wouldn't ask about it on their own, and how it can have a detrimental affect on the enjoyment of the purchase(all form case law). Stuff like this:
“... there is no sound policy reason to deny plaintiff relief for failing to discover a state of affairs which the most prudent purchaser would not be expected to even contemplate.” “It is a fact that can foreseeably deprive a buyer of the intended use of the purchase.” “Accordingly, the fact [of the murder] is not one for which a duty of inquiry and discovery can sensibly be imposed upon the buyer...
I know there is a statute against all this, but I'm playing along. Then, today, she tells us to use the statute in our re-write. Lame! I know that is the way it goes. I am a big, grown-up law student, but come on! Why make us write it all up, only to make us re-tool the whole darn thing. Wha, wha, wha... I'm such a pansy-ass cry baby.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Behind the Ball

Well, my 'read everything for the week on Monday' method lasted 2 weeks. Yesterday I read nothing for the week. For the first time this semester, I went to a class without having the reading done. I kept putting off doing my LRW open memo - last night I paid the price. Until midnight in the library. When I left I remembered that I had parked 1,000,000 miles away - and the shuttle service had long since ceased service for the night. Argh! So, I hiked to my car and rolled on home. I didn't get to sleep until 3am and went to class at 7 this morning. So, today was a bust too becuase I am way too tiried to give it the ole college try. I need to hit the reset button. A few law schoolies to be have started reading my blog. They are where I was when I started reading some of the fine blogs you see on the right (sniff sniff Ditzy Genius) - I will say this to you. RELAX! I know you are pumped up and ready to go - lord knows I was - but really try to enjoy the time you have before school starts. Law school seems so exciting, and it is, but eventually (very quickly) the shine dulls. I still like what I am doing, but now it is a grind. With that said, the ones who have graduated tell me that I am in the best part of my whole legal career, the law school part. Okay, but you never appriciate it while your there - you can only appriciate this "fun" after you have suffered through it.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Case and point

See, look at the previous post. I can not spell to save my life. Lawfool doesn't lie, lay, lye - shit.

This is When Lawfool Looses [sic] All Readership

Did you see what the Bush Administration did? They killed Christopher Reeve! Watch out Michael J. Fox, I'm sure you're next on the list - maybe Nancy Reagan - or some outspoken diabetic (not sure who their stem cell spokesman is). It is going to take a whole heck of a lot of stem cell research to get Mr. Reeve walking again. Stem cell, scmem cell - those little fellas are much better sitting in deep freeze for the next 20 years and then ultimately thrown in the trash - every life is sacred - every single one of us 6.5 billion is special. **gag ** Those little stem cells don't belong in some mad scientist's lab. That would be a waste of a potentially viable life. They belong in the trash. Thank you, and good night.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Blathering Blatherskites!

Well. I bombed (maybe). Let me say this - I am a BIG fan of the practice midterm. We had a 30 minute planning period before the exam. 30 minutes was sooooo long. I was ready to go. Finally we get to start writing - I am all over the place. Oh, yeah, a little of this, a little of that, some more of this, a pinch of that. It just poured out of me like water through a sieve. I have learned to take a good chunk and really plan. I knew what the issues were, but I had no structure. I would give me a C+ on this exam. What a looser I be. Look hard, ladies and gents, you see a broken Lawfool before you. But I will rise up! I will work harder, longer, stronger. I will practice - I will slow myself down - I will rise like John Travolta from the ashes of Look Who's Talking 6 to my very own Pulp Fiction! I really needed this. It was good to see that the knowledge won't necessarily be my downfall (although it sure as hell could be), it is the organization. And blue just isn't my color either.


Didn’t spend last night studying for my mid-term, instead I hiked up to Boca to see the Pixies. Awesome! So awesome! You little punks should go out and buy “Surfer Rosa” and stop listening to 50-cent or Brittney Spears. Today. It was a great crowd too. Just people jumping around, no mosh pit. The chick next to me kept slapping my meaty arm to the music and the dude to my left braced himself with one of my shoulders while he jumped up and down. JD retreated to less crowded ground. She regretted it though, because the crowd and music was so cool. I stood, arms crossed, slightly rocking my head back and forth – perfect. Some asshole was all pissed when people knocked into him. He would push them back pretty hard. Dick. Come on, why are you going to get 4 rows from the stage and then be mad when jostled. I was hoping he threw some of his prissy attitude my way. Forearm shiver to the mouth was waiting for him. Lame. You might think that learning the law would make you a bit scared – you know, learning about all the dangers in the world. The potential ways people could seek damages from you for this or that liability. However, the effect on me is decidedly opposite. Probably in most other law students as well. We see potential harms around us more, but we also know the next question. When a guy says: “I’m going to sue your ass!” For something lame like bumping his car with your car door, or walking across his lawn, or whatever little thing, you know to ask – “yeah, and what kind of damages are we talking about?” Every battery, no matter how small, is actionable – but who is going to go through the trouble. Most people don’t know what the hell they are talking about. JD’s brother bought a car this weekend. Well, he and his mommy bought a car – but that part is a story best left for another time. There is this scam that her sister got taken on last year – It is called a ‘Spot Delivery Scam’ – they sell you a car (or lease you a car) and take your trade in. A few weeks later (sometimes a few days) they call and tell you that the financing fell through and that you need to come back in and sign some new papers. The new papers, of course, are a new financing agreement at a higher rate – basically a new contract. If you say “no” they say, well you have to AND we already sold your trade-in so all we can do is give you back the trade-in value. So these poor people have to choose between a new contract or just getting the $1,500 back for their trade-in and having nothing. No new car. No old car. The scam is – as you should know by now (unless you don’t have K) – that you have a third option. The third option is saying – “Screw you! I’m keeping the car at the terms we already agreed to.” These people already have a contract (unless the terms say something like ‘Contingent on financing’ – in which case they had better return your trade-in and not just the $ for it). The dealers are banking on these victims not understand that they already have a valid K and that the dealer has to eat the loss. Of course, there really isn’t a loss, they are just trying to squeeze you for more dough. It is a total, total, total scam! JD looked at her brother’s K for his car and it said nothing about ‘contingent on financing’. The dealer called him to come back in. So we got ready. JD went with him with two options. 1) He was going to say piss-off to them when they asked him to refinance and throw around lots of ‘fraud’ ‘attorney general’ talk OR 2) if he wanted to get out of the contract, we printed up a mutual recission form. I would have loved to go with, but I have too much law schoolin’ to do. Turns out they were gun shy and didn’t squeeze him though. Bummer. I thought we might start to see this law school money pay off! I wasn’t giving advice as a lawyer – just talking about what I had learned so far and it felt pretty good. Off to school to cram for my exam.

Friday, October 08, 2004


I would like to extend my condolences on ¼ of my 1L class. Good luck on your Elements midterm. It isn’t that I don’t like Element – it’s just not the BLL type of class. I’ll say this, if you have a good outline with well briefed cases, better put the Elements book somewhere where you’ll remember in three months when it’s time to sell it back. I have decided to make people think I’m a genius. If the inverse hygine theory is true, I figure a few months of no showers in the hot FL Autumn and I should be the managing editor of Law Review. You’ll be able to smell how smart I am from 10 miles away. I called HP tech support tonight. Twice. First call I made, I got “Rick” on the phone. If this guy’s real name was Rick, I’m a monkey’s uncle. My guess is he saw Casablanca at the local cineplex last night and told his buddies Lakshmiaha and Aruni that he’s going with “Rick” at work tomorrow. The second call was with Matilda – she claimed to be located north of Seattle. I mentioned that I was about as far from her as possible and still in the continental US, Miami. As we made small talk, I told her it was hot. “Oh,” she inquired, “when do you get snow?” Riiiiiight… um… “So,” I asked making more small talk “Are you going to be off in time to watch the debate?” Again she inquired, “Oh, who’s debating?” “Q-bert is going up against Pac-man for the greatest video game sounds of all time!” I told her. “Hmm, hadn’t heard of that.” She kindly replied. It was then when I gave up on small talk and simply hummed to myself for the next 20 minutes. Tonight’s study time for midterm and open memo = 0 hours 0 minutes. Nice.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Civ. Pro. Recitation Gone Wild!

Dean’s Fellow: Okay, so say you have a plaintiff from Georgia and a defendant from New York. If P sues D in Georgia state court, well, the jury will all come from Georgia – and they’ll be on the plaintiff’s side. So - Student 1: Wait, wait, wait! Why would a Georgia jury automatically side with the plaintiff? Dean’s Fellow: Because he is from Georgia. Student 1: Yeah, but he’s also a pedophile. So I wouldn’t side with him. No matter where he’s from. Dean’s Fellow: What?! A pedophile? I never said anything about that. Where did you come up with that? Student 1: I like to imagine what might be going on in the cases. So in this case I’m pretending it’s about child porn being shipped across state lines. Weren’t you going to bring in some federal commerce act? Dean’s Fellow: No. I’m a little lost now, but I was just trying to demonstrate why diversity is important. Student 1: Hey, will they put his ass away in a federal prison when they convict the scumbag? I hope not. I hope they put him in state prison. Dean’s Fellow: Look! There is no one going to prison. I don’t know what you are talking about. This is CIVIL procedure. No one goes to jail here! Student 1: Not even pedophiles?! That doesn’t seem right. Are you sure?

Read This Blog!

Every classmate of mine should be reading Abstract Appeal every day! It speaks about real, current decisions in Florida and throws in a good amount of FL procedure. It makes our classes come to life a bit. It is sweeeeet! If you know any other law-intensive blogs (meaning no stories about the author's dog or about who should win the election) please let me know and I'll post them.

In Every Day and In Every Way

To those who like my law school posts, this isn't one. I'll try to appease you later in the day. I watched Outfoxed last night. It struck me as being a monumental waste of time. Who doesn't know that Fox News is broadcast from the Whitehouse? Even the people who watch Fox understand this - of course they understand this - that is precisely why they watch it. They want to kind of know what’s going on in the world, but they like it to have a nice neo-conservative spin. So? What's the problem? Is it that Fox is sullying the good name of cable news by passing itself off as a "news channel"? Give me a break. Let freedom ring, right? Why waste all your efforts supposedly exposing what everyone already is aware of. Is it so you can call the Fox management and anchors liars when you catch them in major contradictions? Okay, great. Now what? Everyone already knows they aren’t telling the truth – we all know they aren’t Fair & Balanced. The people who despise them know it, the people who love them know it. But I ask you again: So what? 12(b)(6) this puppy. Look, if you played Outfoxed 24 hours a day ON FOX NEWS for ten days, the next day you would have the same amount of viewers as you did before you played the Outfoxed marathon. If Kerry wins this election, the Fox audience probably will get stronger. The Conservative ball of ideals is very much set in its ways and is very much active. And, I dare say, enjoy life more when they have a Democrat tearing it up in the Whitehouse, who they can complain about the world going to shit because of! (My LRW teacher would slaughter me for that last sentence). My point is – I simply found this supposed expose uncovering the conservative bias of Fox News to be a bit of a yawn. Nothing that we ALL don’t already know was uncovered. Nothing. The one thing that I can’t figure out, though – why does my NPR crew get involved in this stuff? Money, fame, muffins?

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

How Much A Learnin' Do I Do?

In response to a comment: I probably don't study as much as I should. Friday and Saturday are almost always a complete waste of time. I just loaf around. I hit the books hard-ish on Sunday and harder on Monday, reading for the week. I read on campus until my eyes start to hurt (usually about 5 to 6 hours with a break here and there). I then catch up as needed throughout the week (loose ends). Even though I get the bulk of my reading done early in the week, I read something or work on an assignment every day. Although I have student outlines for some classes, I try to stick with my own stuff. I double check other outlines to see if I missed something. This LRW stuff is screwing my reading schedule up though. I will be allotting the remainder of this week and weekend to research and my memo - of course I have to slip the midterm in on Sunday. And a concert (Pixies) on Saturday night. I don't plan on going all out for the practice exam (and I'm not just saying that in case I do bad). It is a nice gesture and all, but I have more important things (memo) to do. If they try to put me on the "small bus" for doing poorly, I'll go kicking and screaming. Of course, this test will be a good indication of whether or not what I'm doing is working. I don't think what works for one person will work for all people. But, I do think it is good to get tips when people offer them. If the info is good or seems to apply, then use it. If it isn't, then what did you loose by listening? Law school is lame because of the forced curve. It makes everyone a potential spoiler, but all you can really do is take care of your business and do the best you can. Best advice so far: Treat it like a job. Compete against yourself. If you are proud of something, build a shed over it (this is from my grandfather referring to his giant gut - which I guess he means to be the shed erected over the thing he is proud of...). Also, I much prefer the public library (although it is quite frightening at times) to the school library. I surf the net too much when on campus, and I'm not strong enough to turn the wi-fi off.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004


The thing about being quasi-anonymous, is that people want to know who you are. Let me say that I will lie to you when you ask if this is my blog. I have no qualms about lying. Maybe that is why I was drawn to possibly becoming a lawyer :) I don't say things on this blog that I would be ashamed to say if I wasn't anonymous, so that isn't why. I'd just rather not be so open about who I am, because come job time - lots of people may be blog reading by then (they are sweeping the nation!), and if this one is still around by then, they might think that I will blog about them, and they might be insecure, and they might think bad things about me. And (cupping my hands together and holding them under my chin while blinking my long eyelashes) I WOULD JUST DIE if I knew some one was thinking bad about me. JD says being anonymous is lame-ass. Maybe so. Hey, we can still be friends, we can still eat cookies together on the bricks. I will even make up a clever little nick-name for you when I blog about you.

SBA Elections NOT About Popularity

I am saddened and disappointed by those who claim that the upcoming SBA elections are simply a popularity contest. For shame! This is law school, people. We are far beyond the ridiculous class system which divided us in high school. Here, we are judged by our academic prowess and not by the amount of friends we have or how perfectly scuffed up our Abercrombie & Fitch hats are. To say that the upcoming (and dare I say, electrifying) elections are no more about substance than they are about looks and status is to throw a pot of hot steaming white chocolate fondue in the face of our political system! I can’t see how you can say this when each person was allowed to put up a single poster (most with some newly printer “Glamour Shots” – I love the leather jacket ones – Grrr, you rebels!) and allowed to speak for an entire minute in front of each section. What more could you ask for? If this isn’t democracy in action, I don’t know what is! What’s that you say Generic Candidate? You want to here what the issues we are concerned with are. Wait, what kind of a platform is that? You are running on listening to what we have to say and then what? Generic Candidate speech: My fellow classmates, I want to listen to the issues and concerns you have. Once I hear them, I will promptly put “SBA Senator” down on my resume! Where is the crazy dude who doesn’t have a shot? (Actually he might have been in my torts class today, but a minute wasn’t long enough to get a real sense of him). I wanted to see some dude claim that he was going to buck the system, that he/she was going to get us all levitating backpacks, that they would get us personal man-servants to take all our notes and tests and carry us from class to class, that they would see to it all single exam courses were replaced with group multiple choice quizzes due once a week (no more than 10 kids to a group though, there has to be standards). I did see Ralph Nader checking out the posters when he was here last week. He looked interested in throwing his hat in to the ring. I think he didn’t because he’s pretty sure he’ll be busy transitioning his newly elected administration after the November election. I’m definitely voting for that dude from torts today. He had a hint of crazy in him which I really like to see in my candidates. I was a huge Perot/Stockdale supporter.

Like a Pig

So, I decided to stay on campus today even though my classes were over before noon. I am on a reading rampage – aw, remember that game Rampage – that was good stuff. I loved eating the little army men with dynamite “Crunch crunch crunch – gulp!” Then you breathed fire. Anyway. I was tired of the UM food offerings so I decided to leg it to Wendy’s. I was walking and thought I might take the “Hurry Cane” (clever) shuttle. I waited at the first stop I came across for all of 5 minutes and then was fed up. So I started to walk again. About 1 minute later the bus passed me. Curses! I then noticed that the stops for this shuttle are few and far between (keep in mind, I’m the walkee here). By the time I passed another stop, I was nearly at US1, so I just walked the rest of the way. Now then, on my way back, I decided I would get on the shuttle. I am now a ridee, looking out the window in disgust at all the walkees – common scum! Now, being the ridee, I notice that this shuttle is stopping every two feet. Come on! Can’t people walk more than a few feet without needing to be picked up?! Funny how perspectives can shift so quickly. I was at the gym this morning (2 days in a row! Write it down, people) and who was on the elliptical trainer right next to me? Little, blonde, Civ. Pro. Wiz Kid! And what was she doing? I kid you not, she was reading a case from our Civ. Pro. supplement and looking over an outline. I was listening to “The Postal Service” and “The Pixies” – I don’t think I’d do very well reading and working out. Not that I hit it hard, but man, do I sweat. I sweat like whatever creature would be made if a pig got it on with a hippo (yes, I know, pigs actually don’t sweat much – hence the mud - and hippos do not even have sweat glands, but whatever). I would probably get my supplement case all wet and it would run and I would fail out of law school. Respect! And I don’t care if it is lame for a dude to be using an elliptical trainer. I need to trim down…

Monday, October 04, 2004

Ho hum

I can’t spell to save my life. I have been carrying around a note card and writing down all the words I can’t spell. I will have JD give me a spelling test as exams approach. I’m going to look like a tool when I misspell “plaintiff” of my exams. Why the hell does it have two f’s at the end? I can’t figure this shit out. I have never been able to. Give me a math problem and I’ll rock your world, you sweet thing, but ask me to spell a word, and I am screwed. And I’m not talking about complex words either. I can’t spell easy words. I have a real deficiency. I’m like a crack addict for spellchecker. In fact, I type my post in Word first, because blogger’s spell-check isn’t tough enough for me. It has no clue what I am trying to say half the time. Microsoft is a little better. I have decided to get almost all my reading done on Mondays (this is my second successful week at this, so I don’t know if I can keep it up). This works for me on two levels. 1 – since I know I’ll depend on my notes to refresh me later in the week, I am taking better notes as I read. 2 – I have the week free to read some of the recommended materials for class (mainly those primers). I also need to start working on some hypos for some classes. I need to find some people who want to bounce stuff off of each other, but my not talking to anyone makes finding said people to bit a bit difficult. I am starting to realize that I am leaving too much up to “yeah, this makes sense” reasoning. I don’t think that shit is going to fly come exam time. I am also going to crack open the getting to maybe book. I hope to hell I don’t get Elements as my mid-term class. I need Torts or K and maybe Civ. Pro. Something that I can apply my baby lawyer knowledge to. Elements will be a bunch of blah sludge.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

A Moment of Silence

Ditzy Genius is (maybe) calling it quits. Let us all bow our heads for a moment.

Return of the Jedi!

Lucas changed the end of Return of the Jedi! Sneaky bastard! Where is that old dude from my video taped copy? They put in the kid from Episode 3. Lame!

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Pink! And more Civ. Pro. crap.

Mr. Wolf wonders about my section's workload. My section (combined with another) has THE BEST Civ Pro prof. - I have heard that other sections simply have the case book and that is all. We have the case book, the Fed Rules of Civ. Pro. (including selected statutes and the constitution), two novels we use as case studies, we have a supplement text to one of the novels, and we have loads of supplement cases for each class a well. And, we just don't have this stuff to have it, we are expected to know it. Does all this work make our prof. better than yours? Well, I don’t know, but it keeps me going to think: yes. Civ. Pro. is all about rules and their application. How better to learn than through application under many varied circumstances. Everyone will learn about 1331 and 1332 no matter what type of teacher you have, but will you see them applied dozens of different ways - and combined with other rules? Is it enough to just know what an injunction is or should you know the 5 prongs needed to get one - and why you should ask for a TRO on Christmas Eve?  We are reading cases from 2004 opinions – recent, important; we read cases which illustrate a single move a litigator can use; a single mistake council might make. We are expected to know the civil rights statutes which give rise to atty fees and other causes of action. How many other classes have discussed 1915, 1927, 2412, 1988, 1983, 1985? How many other classes have discussed Title VII? And laid out the theory of Clinton v. Jones pointing out the quid pro quo theory and the hostile work theory - and where it falls apart - leading to the entire basis of conspiracy under 1985 crumbling. How do you count your days in Federal Court? Do weekends count? Little bits here and there – he keeps giving us, questioning us, and building our toolbox up. I don’t know if it is as important as he claims, but I’m buying in. What choice do I have. The prof. claims he has the highest GPA numbers of any Civ. Pro. class. And he asks if we think other classes are learning. He laughs when he wonders aloud if the other sections have been taught the Defensive Litigation Continuum (DLC). It is a lot of work. And we are stressed by him, but ultimately to our advantage. The rules in this game are of dire consequences, and he takes pride is teaching us how to play by them. It sucks to have this load of work, but I am happy to have ended up in this class. I am happy because he makes us study, and this will help me in practice, and, of course, on the damn test. Also, I don’t blame pink for Friday – some of those questions were hard. Time to skim Buffalo Creek. Curses! And can some one send me a nice spreadsheet of all the freaking cases. I have started making Federal Rule flash cards as well as all the damn statutes he has us learn. Grrr!