Monday, August 01, 2005

Hanging, and waiting…

This whole transfer process is crap. It stinks. The waiting for any word, any word at all, any, word, at, all. Even dings are welcomed. But, as of yet, only one. This process has been going on for two months now. I still haven’t heard from over half the schools. Tick, tock. Here is how it goes (or what I think is how it goes--nothing definitive): The first schools come in quick. These are schools that you are an “auto-admit” to. You will get a quick turn-around as soon as the app goes complete. Then you have deadlines. You buy time. You ask for extensions, you want to see what else will come down the pike. The bad part is, you are a half-breed. Not quite bad enough to say “get lost” to right of the bat, but not a “home run” out of the gate either. So, you have the schools willing to give you the time of day waiting for some $$$ to reserve your seat, and the schools that might give you the time of day (if enough auto-admits say “No, I’m off to Yale.”)—they are holding off on you like you are on the other schools. The dance! It is a standoff. You want so bad to call the admissions offices. Sometimes you have the phone in hand, but you can’t think up a good enough excuse to tell them. You don’t want to force their hand, but dear God! you have to know!!!! But you are afraid. “Maybe I’m so close. Don’t make them mad. Jenga!” In the meantime, you start bidding for OCI at the school you sent your $$$ to. It is a good school, for sure, but not the first choice. So, you are in a limbo state. OCI-ing, half-heartedly; all of your worldly possessions in your sister’s garage; again, like when you sold your house with three months left at your cushy high-tech job, you are sleeping on someone’s floor. Is this progress? Are you making headway? Homeless, unemployed, uncertain future, and people think you are “lucky”? And, for the most part, they are right. You did well, you have a chance to position yourself in a better spot, but the stress! You go to the bagel restaurant and cannot see your niece, because the stress is driving you half blind. Your future is bright, but the present is bleak. Your gums bleed (not really, but they might). You sleep only every other night. You check your email 100 times an hour. The mail comes too late—no! too early! Someone shoot me. Why couldn’t I have known I wanted to go to law school as an undergrad. I would have aced a Communications or English degree. Computer Science? I’m a flippin’ moron.